This Witch's Tale
Post by: Jessica
Currently Listening: Witchy Playlist
If you have checked out our Spinster bios on our website you will notice that I am called “The Witchy One”. Adding this name or description about myself publicly was a significant moment for me. It was my “coming out” as you would say, my way of telling the world that “Yes, I am a Witch”.
To get a few questions out of the way: I am a new witch. This means that I am still learning all about the craft and discovering what type of witch I am. I do know that I am a Solitary Witch; I am not apart of a Coven. This is a choice I made recently to be able to continue to learn at my own pace and grow into my witchy ways. However, with the way our online world is today, I already feel like I am part of a larger inclusive Coven and I am happy with that for now.
Now to give a little about my journey into witchcraft. Since I was a little girl my biological mother would always call me a “little witch”. To some people, they would think that she was being insulting or degrading of her eldest daughter. I remember at times growing up feeling hurt by such comments, but then at the same time, I was given books about witches and every Halloween she would help to create an authentic witch costume. Now that I am older, I know more about witches, their history and the power of the feminine divine in the title of witch. I think she was just trying to tell me something about myself that only took me 32 years to come to discover.
As a child, I was entranced by the image of the witch. I also had an affinity for animals, particularly cats (hmmmmm…). I enjoyed time to myself in nature, loved looking at tarot cards, talking and reading about the secret wonders in our world and I always felt a deep connection to the spirit world. As a teenager, my interest in the witch and the supernatural world only continued to grow. I moved away from the organized religion of Catholicism I grew up in and found myself going on a spiritual journey to find something that spoke to my own thoughts and beliefs.
These ideas and beliefs I had led my down various paths in my early twenties and I considered becoming Wiccan I studied all I could about the subject and religion. However, it still did not fit for me and I felt constricted in the structure and organized nature of it. The information was great, but I could not see myself joining a coven with hierarchical structures and performing regular pre-constructed rituals. To me it felt to much like an organized religion despite its strong pagan influence. When I met my now ex-husband, I was becoming involved in the New Age movement. It was then when I expanded my knowledge about the spirit world, meditation, and the uses of herbs, crystals and tarot. Yet I still did not identify myself as a witch. I just found myself surrounded by people who spoke about nothing other than consciousness and living a life path of light and love.
During this time, while I learned many elements about these spiritual practices and opening my mind, once again I never truly felt dedicated to any kind of stream of devotion of spiritual awareness. While my ex-husband would become involved in the various new age groups and approaches, I found that I was distancing myself from it all because it was always trying to repress the darker half to myself and split myself as a woman in half. It was only a few years ago that I learned to fully embrace myself, both the light and dark sides of my personality. In doing this, I started to feel a new confidence in myself and my ability to connect with the divine feminine energy within. I was no longer feeling like half a woman, but a full one.
It was then that as my life was changing I started to come across materials and resources. All of which spoke in length about the identity of the witch and the women who identified as one. I had watched Romero’s Season of the Witch and deeply identified with the character of Joan. I then read Kristen Sollee’s Witch, Sluts, Feminists and Lisa Lister’s Witch; Unleashed, Untamed, Unapologetic and something just struck a chord with me. Or, perhaps, I started to finally listen to my inner voice and admit to myself what I had always known: that I was a witch and that it was time to truly live my life as one. And what do I do you ask? Well right now, I am just reading up all about our history as witches and the growth of witchcraft through the ages. I meditate, I have created an alter, started performing spell work and tarot readings. I spend more time with nature and noticing the impact of the moon on women. With witchcraft I can follow my own inner guidance and create or alter pre-existing spells and rituals that felt appropriate to me.
So here I am today, a year later, a new witch. I was afraid at first to tell people. This was because I thought I would be judged or made fun of. That I would have to defend myself against my loved ones. At first, I opened up to those closest to me and each one of them stated that they were not surprised and supported me. This was due to the ‘witchy’ air I always had around me. However, not all people were quite as open minded and supportive. Like other women who have identified as witches, I have been called a “demon worshiper” and accused of trying to influence others with my ‘wicked ways’. I was accused of casting spells and draining the energy of my ex-husband (prior to our separation - note the “ex” part.)
To be honest, I would not change my experience for anything. Identifying as a witch and the fluidity of witchcraft, I feel like I have found a spiritual practice and belief that is true to my nature. I now feel more confident and self assured. I have felt more connected with other women, nature, and more importantly myself. I am also not hiding it. You can see my witchyness in my dress, home, music, conversations and daily practices. Also, when I meet new people or potential partners, I tell them on the first engagement. I kept this part of myself denied and hidden for too long. I have entered into the Season of the Witch and I don’t ever plan to leave it.